Robin
An asexual person is a person who does not experience sexual attraction.
Now, I can hear the people complaining “But that is not how I define it!”. True, the asexual community has evolved to the point that there is no single definition for asexuality. Some definite it by lack of sexual attraction (per official AVEN definition), by lack of interest in sex, or by lack of sexual behaviour. These definitions may all be valid to an individual, but it causes some debate among the asexual community on which one is “the correct one”.
Whichever definition we choose to use, there is one aspect that unites us: that we all feel different enough from sexuals that we don’t identify as such, and I think that is reason enough to be supportive of all definitions of asexuality. To me, there is no one definition of asexuality. The one that appears on AVEN’s banner is simply a guideline so people would get an idea of what asexuality is, and not use it for things like HSDD or celibacy. This is also called the Collective Identity model.
In any case, I hope that we can all accept everyone’s personal definitions of asexuality.
Mycroft’s comment
One thing that I’ve noticed in the asexual community is that we define ourselves more based on a lack of sexual attraction than any sexual attraction or desire that we might have.
Example: two grey-a’s, with similar levels and cases of sexual attraction. One identifies as grey-a while the other doesn’t identify under the asexual umbrella at all, just feels as though sexual attraction or desire isn’t that common for them. Though technically they feel the same way, their identification is the differentiating factor. Or, someone asexual-identifying might have experienced sexual attraction at some stage, but feels that it was rare enough an event to not influence their identifying as asexual.
This is why, while I promote and agree with the ‘how you feel is what you are’ line of thinking, I also think the ‘choosing to identify’ holds more weight than is often given credit for in mainstream asexual discourse.
Do you have different thoughts on this subject? Post them in the comments section!
Let Us Eat Cake 